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MADISON - ST. CLAIR RECORD

Friday, April 26, 2024

The cyclist who got hurt on the bike path that wasn’t there

“I can’t see! I can’t see!” a small man with unruly hair cries out in anguish.
Distressed by the sudden onset of blindness in their closest friend, the Howard brothers inquire as to the cause.

“I’ve got my eyes closed,” Larry explains. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!
It’s a classic Three Stooges routine that never gets old – for Stooges fans, anyway.

Imagine someone thinking he was blind because he had his eyes closed! Still, it’s a wonder that Larry never lost his vision, what with Moe forever poking fingers in his eyes.

Like almost every bit of shtick in the Stooges’ slapstick oeuvre, this one has deep philosophical import: you don’t have to be blind to be unseeing.

How true is that?

Because not seeing can get you into trouble, it’s generally a good idea to keep your eyes open during waking hours. You wouldn’t want to drive a car blindfolded, for instance, or even with the sun screen still in place.

It’s not enough to keep your eyes open, however. You must also focus them and point them in the direction you’re headed. In other words, you must look where you’re going.

Ian Hester apparently missed out on such lessons. He is suing the Granite City and Madison County Mass Transit District for more than $50,000 because he hurt himself on the Confluence Trail while trying to ride his bicycle on a path that wasn’t there.

It seems Hester came to the end of a road, assumed a path would follow, and kept going.

[MUSIC UP: “Three Blind Mice.” FADE TO BLACK.]

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