How to troll for easy money by using your Maagination

“But it was just my Maagination
Running away with me
It was just my Maagination
Running away with me”

Talk about the temptations! There sure are a lot of them in Madison and St. Clair Counties, and none stronger than the temptation to get rich quick by fair means or otherwise.

You’ve got to hand it to the easy-moneymakers of the Metro East. They have lots of imagination – or should we say, Maagination?

Mary Voyles used her Maagination two years ago when she led a class action suit against Super Valu stores on behalf of customers who allegedly were overcharged when cashing checks at the Shop ’n Save and Jewel/Osco grocery chains.

Julie Wheeler also used her Maagination when she filed suit recently against Schwegel’s Food Markets in Madison County Circuit Court, seeking a judgment in excess of $50,000 as the lead plaintiff in a class action on behalf of all store customers who allegedly were overcharged when cashing checks.

Now Willie Hadley is using his Maagination in a suit in St. Clair County Circuit Court against Maplewood Markets (formerly Cahokia Mor for Less), seeking a judgment in excess of $50,000 as the lead plaintiff in a putative class action on behalf of all store customers who allegedly were overcharged when cashing checks.

Voyles, Wheeler, and Hadley all used their Maagination by securing the services of -- or allowing themselves to be represented by -- Wood River attorney Peter Maag, who seems to have cornered the market on suits against markets. Maag presently is specializing in picayune complaints purporting petty overcharges in check-cashing fees.

For this, he went to law school?

Maagination, as you’ve no doubt surmised, is something quite different from imagination. The latter is original, unexpected, transcendental. Maagination, on the other hand, is repetitive, predictable, utterly mundane, uncreative and questionable.

Our advice to Metro East residents who might be tempted by get-rich-quick schemes: Don’t let your Maagination run away with you.