First, there was Westworld, the story of a harebrained scheme to get rich quick by re-creating a Wild West town and making lots of money from tourists eager to visit the theme park and turn fantasies into reality by mixing it up with live-action, three-dimensional barroom brawlers, salacious saloon girls, and fast-shooting gunslingers.

With carefully-programmed robots playing the parts of the bad men and women, there is the excitement and apparent danger of a real frontier town, but no genuine peril in Westworld, “where nothing can possibly go wrong” – until, inevitably, it does.

Then, there was Jurassic Park, the story of a harebrained scheme to get rich quick by re-creating the age of dinosaurs and making lots of money from tourists eager to visit the theme park and enjoy “an adventure 65 million years in the making,” titillating with up-close glimpses of real-live velociraptors, triceratopses, and tyrannosauruses.

With carefully-cloned, single-gender dinosaurs incapable of reproducing and contained by an electrified fence, Jurassic Park is as safe as prehistoric times can be – unless “life finds a way” -- which, needless to say, it does.

Now, there’s Metro Eastworld, the story of a harebrained scheme to get rich by re-creating the judicial hellhole of Madison County and making lots of money from folks eager to pursue jackpot justice in our plaintiff-friendly courthouse while filing frivolous lawsuits against productive American businesses.

What could possibly go wrong in resurrecting Tobaccotortus Rex – Stephen Tillery, the judicial hellhole king of class action – and his 14-year-old suit against Philip Morris, charging the tobacco company with misleading the public about the relative health benefits of light and low-tar cigarettes?

An Illinois appellate court recently reinstated the 2003 circuit court verdict which was overturned by the state supreme court, restoring the $10 billion award for Tillery and his clients.

Now all indications are that legal wrangling will not end anytime soon. More years, more legal fees! We who value common sense think it should  have ended a decade, or more ago. Meanwhile your taxpayer dollars support these courthouse marathon schemes.

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