The Madison County Record Dec. 18, 2014, 6:51am

The job market's tight right now, so here are some helpful hints for acing an interview. When asked what attracted you to their company, don't tell HR it was because they had an opening. Say it was because their company is the one company you've always wanted to work for.

When asked where you want to be in five years, don't say “somewhere better.” Say you hope to win the lottery so you can work for them for free until you breathe your last breath decades thence -- and maybe a few months beyond that.

Why do you want to leave your current job? Not because your boss is a psychopath: because you want to work longer hours for less pay.

At interview's end, when asked if you have any questions, don't say, “Got any weed?”

Once you've landed the job, you can loosen up a bit, but don't overdo it.

When told that you're not paid to goof off, don't say you do it for free. Don't ask your supervisor why he came to you if he wanted something done right. Don't let on that you wouldn't even have a full-time job if you did everything right the first time.

Most important of all, do not flip off the boss.

That's what Kristen Auth allegedly did at the Blake Law Group in Belleville just prior to the end of her one month of employment on February 28, 2012.

Fired that day, Auth filed a claim with the Illinois Department of Employment Security on the morrow. The firm balked, but a claims adjudicator found her eligible for benefits.

This cased has dragged on for almost three years as Blake Law sought to have the ruling overturned, but now the Fifth District has ruled that the firm's latest appeal was not timely filed. That should be the end of it, but who knows for sure.

Will anyone learn anything from this contentious litigation that seems to give the system the finger? We can only hope.

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